I am a Facebook Divorcee

Yesterday, I deactivated my Facebook account. Why, you ask? Because Facebook no longer serves my needs in its capacity as a networking tool. In short, I don't need it anymore.

This may seem absurd or strange to many of you, but it makes perfect and logical sense to me. Facebook was introduced, like all things cool on the Internet, to me by friends and rapidly became an outlet for time better spent studying. We all used to joke about how much time we spent on Facebook: updating our profiles, reading other people's walls, searching for new friends to add, etc. We allowed it to consume our lives.

Eventually, Facebook added the News Tracker feature, which allowed users to track any and all movements of other users on Facebook. This was met with anger and dismay, as it opened the door for real "stalking" not just the joking kind of stalking we all claimed to do to each other. You could literally see everything a person did on Facebook, down to the exact changes made to a section of a personal profile.

Following that came the true opening of the floodgates: admittance of non-university/college users. You no longer had to have a university or college e-mail account that was registered with Facebook to become a member. Anyone could join as long as the invite was sent out by a current member. Soon, the Facebook network became infested with all manner of users. This to me, was incomprehensible given MySpace's security problems with real-life stalkers and pedophiles. Add to this, Facebook users' tendency to post drunken pictures of themselves on their profiles and you have a breeding ground for seedy online encounters.

A confidential source has also informed me of the unofficial use of Facebook to screen potential employees by employers. This is not entirely legal, especially in the case of gays, where sexuality can be used as a mark against an otherwise polished and qualified resume. However, employers cannot legally be charged with discrimination as the information posted on many Facebook accounts can be retrieved by virtually anyone, and can thus be argued to be public information.

I found myself looking through the Home page in my Facebook account, and wondering what I was looking at. There was an overload of information being thrown at me: so-and-so changed his picture, so-and-so wrote on so-and-so's wall, so-and-so is now friends with so-and-so. The list goes on. It was like being bombarded with useless and more-often-than-not irrelevant information. Despite my attempts to eliminate this feature from my account, I was still unable to truly appreciate the complexity of Facebook anymore. I no longer felt compelled to sift through other people's profiles. I no longer enjoyed reading snippets of conversations on other people's walls. It just seemed so utterly, and completely useless to me.

So let's summarize, shall we. Facebook is bad because it is a) a waste of time, b) ideal for real stalking, c) a negative impact on employment opportunities, and d) a stadium for competitions to see who has the most friends on the most networks. That last point shouldn't need explaining. The competitive nature of college/university students is perfect for this style of one-up-manship. On the surface it appears to boost self-esteem, when it is in fact decreasing self-worth by reinforcing the notion that more friends means greater self-worth. This is completely untrue, as often a person's closest friends tend to form a rather small circle. So you can see, Facebook is also detrimental to a person's mental and psychological health.

I have therefore decided it no longer serves my needs in the realm of communication. Given my current network of friends, I see no reason to keep this account open and active. Many of the contacts on my list no longer keep in contact with me, nor I them. If you need to contact me, or leave me messages, e-mail will suffice.

Reminiscence...

There are times when I really miss university. I miss the routine of a set of courses each week, most of which could be skipped if the material was online. I miss having friends around 24/7, with whom I would procrastinate (on Facebook). I miss the focused direction of energy during exam periods where you knew what you had to know, and you studied it. Make note, I don't miss exams in the least.

University was fun, it was exciting, it was new. Something was always going on, things were constantly in motion. I feel as though now that I'm in the "real" world, things slow down quite a bit. My job, for instance, isn't as dynamic as McGill campus. I'm stuck at a desk, in front of a computer for 8 hours of a day. For 5 days straight. I don't have the luxury of going for coffee in the middle of the afternoon with friends. I can't spend hours on Facebook because shit needs to get done (not that I would, or did). And I can't skip out on work since my mom is the boss.

But then I remember this time of the year. When McGill managed to muck up the exam schedule such that we'd be writing exams one after another. I remember that instead of being paid, I was paying. I remember how little my existence meant to the university. Life sure has changed in 6 months.

Being a working member of society certainly has its advantages. I get paid every 2 weeks. I can leave my work at work (most of the time). I'm not pulling all-nighters for an exam that matters very little in the grand scheme of things. And I have a say in the direction of my company. No longer am I just a 9-digit number who forks out several thousand dollars per year. Those days are long past.

To think, just 8 months ago, I was suffocating in grasp of McGill's administration. Worrying over my grades and the graduation that got postponed. So much has changed in so little time. Hell, even the city of Montreal is fading in my memory. I'm rediscovering my hometown, reforging relationships with my family. What hasn't changed are the friendships that were forged over the past 5 years. Many did not survive, but many more did. I have a wife now (so-to-speak), and friends I'll be seeing when I get over to the other side of the Pacific. I'm more comfortable in my skin than I've ever been, and I'm moving towards a new destination. A new career.

We all look to the past for inspiration. I think now it's time to look to the future. So here's to walking off into the sunset, and all that lay beyond it....

Stress Stress Stress

With Finals rapidly approaching, I thought this article would be an appropriate reminder of what stress is really doing to us. It also compliments this entry I wrote on the need to be "Top Dog".

Just remember to keep your mind relaxed. Stop and breathe, think about something nice for a few minutes before heading back to work. Or even take a 10 minute power nap. Before you know it, Christmas will be here and we'll all be with friends and families.

A Weekend with Friends

Finally had a chance to go back to Montreal for a short visit with some Friends. To (in no particular order) Michael, Karen, Tim, Villie, Michelle, Jason, Tammy & the gang at the Treasury, THANK YOU for making this trip so much fun. Without all of you this would have been mostly just shopping and walking around, something I can do every day here in Calgary.

Highlights of the trip include: the Scintillating Cocktail Party (aka the MBSU semi-formal), long chats with everyone, a showing of the Playhouse Creatures, getting to see Casino Royale, bubble tea at L2, and a general re-introduction to the city’s free-flowing lifestyle.

Before arriving in Montreal, I sent out an itinerary with certain things I’d like to do as well as certain people I had to see. On a trip like this, you never expect to be able to accomplish all that you had planned. Unless you are extremely anal about timing, the chances of sticking to a rigidly structured plan are virtually impossible. Conversations will blend the hours, an hour-long rendezvous will become an afternoon of company, and then before you know it, you’re on a flight back to your hometown. And yet somehow, somehow I managed to get it all done.

I’m going to call this trip my Whirlwind Tour of Montreal. From the moment I landed at Trudeau International Airport, I was on the clock and on the go. In a few short hours, I was able to meet with all but four of the people who still remained in the city. Thursday night was very chill with a simple dinner and a few glasses of wine with Michael.

Friday was largely centered around the MBSU and my old Friends (no, none of y’all are “old” per se). Did a little shopping, walked around St-Catherine’s (all the while realizing just how little we walk in Calgary), and then it was off to Club Main for the semi-formal. Several, actually more like many, drinks later we strolled across the street to Club Orchid. I didn’t last too long, however, it seems I’m either out of practice or just plain gettin’ old.

Saturday I met up with Karen and Tim for brunch, did some window shopping, and had an afternoon of gaming (just like old times, eh?). After dinner, I rushed up to campus to catch a showing of the Playhouse Creatures with Michael. It’s very well done, and provided a chance to see something cultural.

My last day was spent in Chinatown for the morning and then downtown for the afternoon. For lunch, dim sum and then bubble tea at L2. I was worried, after hearing reports that they had watered down the tea, but it was still as good as I remember it to be. Karen and I caught Casino Royale at the Paramount theatre, and I must admit it surpassed my expectations by a long shot. Daniel Craig is excellent in his role as the indefatigable James Bond. We splurged on dinner at Isakaya, and ended the evening by catching up on some work at her place. (Yes, I did work on my vacation. For those of you who are still students, take note: you will carry your work with you always, if not physically then mentally.)

Four days goes by in a flash. It saddens me to know that I will not see many of my Friends for what might be several years, but alas we all have our own dreams and paths to pursue. Now that we are scattered across the globe, y’all are my excuses to travel (and I yours). Again, thanks to everyone for making this an exceptional trip. A special thank you to Karen and Michael for providing warm beds and extended company (and for saving me the trouble of renting a hotel room).

SSMU Did Right By Us For Once...

The Student Society of McGill University (SSMU) has done right by us for once. Instead of shying away from the issue, or deferring it on account of its contentiousness, they have chosen to take a stand for the rights of a minority.

Effective immediately, the Shatner Ballroom at McGill University will no longer be host to Hema-Quebec's blood drives until the policy, deemed discriminatory towards gay men, is changed. This, in turn, means that Health Canada must give Hema-Quebec permission to change its policies.

In January, Hema-Quebec shut down a blood drive because they misinterpreted a protest to mean that donors should lie about their sexual activity. The risk of infecting the blood supply meant shutting down the blood drive until such time as it could be determined that only donors with honest intentions could be accepted. That time never came, and the blood drive was cancelled altogether. The radical group which initiated the protest, calling themselves the Second Cumming, fired back that the posters were not ambiguous and that any "misrepresentation" that a protester might attempt would be so obvious that screeners would easily be able to turn them away. For example, the poster read that protesters should "act faggy, do drag...and cause a commotion."

The incident caused an uproar in the McGill community as many members of the student body give blood each time Hema-Quebec is there. Many of those same students also see donating blood as a "privilege", the same stance taken by the Hema-Quebec director, Pierre Julien. But it is also clear from the students that many do not agree with Hema-Quebec's discriminatory policy. Queer McGill sets up a table at the doors to Shatner Ballroom to ask that students not give blood in light of the policy which asks male donors, "have you had sexual contact with another man since 1977?" However, the Second Cumming's actions opened the door to a highly controversial issue which requires the attention of a major student group like the SSMU.

The SSMU council voted 20 to 6 in favour of banning Hema-Quebec from McGill until the policies change, but that vote was not easily come by. Many of the councillors felt that they had been sandbagged by the tabled motion, with no time to discuss with their respective communities. And while I don't generally agree with sandbagging committees (with the power to decide on such issues as this) because it prevents proper debate and discussion, this has been a fresh topic for nearly a year now. The SSMU has had plenty of time to debate and decide, and then to take a stance on the issue. Additionally, voting on the issue meant interpreting the constitution. According to the constitutions, endeavours undertaken by the SSMU must be done "with full respect for human dignity and without discrimination on the basis of irrelevant personal characteristics." Floh Herra-Vega, the SSMU's VP Clubs and Services, who tabled the motion, noted that Hema-Quebec's policy "singles out a single group of people, not a practice. That's why this motion is constitutional." She also noted that this is not simply a medical issue. "We shouldn't think of this as a blood drive; we should think of it like we would any other thing. We can't treat this differently because it's something that is crucial to life. I don't see how we can have blood drives and still respect ourselves as councillors."

During the January incident, the SSMU condemned the shutdown as "amateurish" and a "defamation of McGill students across Canada." They stood by us then, and they are doing so now. Thank you SSMU for doing what should have been done years ago. It's about time that someone stood up and said, enough is enough.