Alpha Dogs

Y'know what? Students lie. A LOT. They do, and yes, it's normal. All students want is to be recognized for their efforts (or lack thereof), they want to be patted on the back and told they did a good job. But in the pursuit of said, and often imaginary, happiness they must compete with their friends, colleagues, and schoolmates. You can't be in the top 5 percent of the class if you don't knock out (haha, bio jokes are fun-neee!!) those who would also be at the top of the bell-curve. It just doesn't happen.

So why then do students insist on competing to be the most non-chalant, cocky, arrogant, prick on the block? Because it makes you look cool, that's why. I find that when I get to class the day an assignment's due, one of the first things you'll hear (other than, "Dude, I got so hammered last night!") is, "by the end of the night, I fully didn't care about this assignment!" That, my friend, is a lie. A flat out lie. Don't deny it, just accept the truth of it (ah, the irony of it all).

The truth is, you did care about that assignment, even if it was only worth 10 percent of your grade. You cared because it might save your ass later when you bomb the final exam. You care more than you care to admit. It's a funny thing students do. So why tell it then? Why lie every time an assignment is due? Because it makes you cool. And how does it make you cool? It makes you cool because you can then be the guy (or girl) who did the assignment, is going to score really well on it, and all without tearing out your hair at the last minute (which you probably did anyways).

We compete with each other all the time. And we do it without even realizing it. It's like the boys in the playground who used to say, "Yeah, well my Daddy can do this!" to which the other boy would reply, "Yeah? Well my Daddy can do it better!" And so forth until fact becomes fiction. Now take that conversation and make it about how much work you have to do. It would go something like this:

"Man, I have so much work to do this week! I have an assignment due tomorrow, a midterm next week, and I have to clean the apartment because my roomie's being such a nazi about the mess!"
"Oh yeah? Well I've got 2 assignments due this week, midterms right up until finals, and I have so much work to do on my thesis!"

Ok, so it's a little exaggerated, but you get the picture. Students are always trying to one-up each other. And to what end? Does it make you cooler to seem like you have more work to do? That by having these "battles" you can realize just how much goddamn work you actually have to do? Competition is the basis for these actions. The whole point of a competition is to win. So if you can outlast your friends in terms of work and how busy you are, then you gain rank and status. It's human nature to want to be the top dog, the Alpha Male (and I'm going to focus here on men simply because they're thicker and more likely to rely on gut instincts than to actually think things through...just kidding; all of this applies to women too). Now assuming that this is all true, and that competition is the reason for this type of behaviour, then what is the status gained? The answer is: social importance. To say one is busy and overloaded with work, is to say that one is someone of importance. Think about it. If you have meetings to attend, papers to draw up, and deadlines to meet, then you can assume that person is someone of importance right? To rely so much on one person and to give them so much responsability implies that they are capable and competent people. By singling out these people with so much shit to do, we make them seem important. Now try suggesting that someone who is incapable and unimportant do all these important things. Can you picture that? I bet you can't.

Look at the people walking down the street in their expensive (or rather cheap but expensive-looking) suits. Do they seem important to you? They may at first glance, but think about it a little more. They're probably just regular joes who want to appear important because they think it will get them that big fat bonus at Christmas. Nowadays, we strive to achieve this state of importance through books. We read books about how to be that better business person, how to be the Alpha Dog. How many books out there rely on Alexander the Great's teachings? Or on Sun Tzu's Art of War? Natural born leaders write these books because they know people will snatch them up, creating mass profits for the authors. Take Donald Trump, for example. Business men all over the world look up to him, trying to learn every aspect of his stratagem so that they may become successful billionaires, just like Mr. Trump.

This is not to say that there aren't actually any people out there who are successful, and who are important. It's just that the fake ones outnumber the real ones.

We, as burgeoning members of society, are learning how to hone our skills. We are learning how to become integral parts of the work-force. Most importantly, we are learning how to survive. What is interesting is that to survive in the work-force, you must learn to play the game. That is what we are doing here, that is what we are learning through these back-and-forth interactions with our peers. Competition on the kiddie field is just practice for the big showdown on national television. So the next time you're sitting in class waiting to hand in your latest assignment, don't lie to your friends about how little you cared about the assignment, just tell the goddamned truth.